Thursday, July 4, 2013

Glitter by Mona Darling

by Mona Darling
Every time someone finds out that I'm a professional dominatrix, they automatically have assumptions. Most of them are wrong. 

The top 5 things that generally surprise people the most are;

  1. I'm a goof ball and a klutz. I'm a complete 180 from the calm, cool, collected person they picture towering over a bound slave in the dungeon.  After 20 years though, I've become very good at hiding the fact that I've lost the key… until I'm able to find it again. 
  2. I'm a bit of a nerd. A big bit. I could sit home All Damn Day in my pajamas on my computer watching Ted talks.
  3. I'm a Disney fanatic. All vintage disney. All the time. I'm not a huge fan of modern Disney, but love all the bondage, kidnapping and hallucinogenic filled stuff from the golden age of the pie eyed Mickey. Even though I'm a feminist, I love disappearing into a time and place where all a woman had to do was look pretty and all a man had to do was be a rich prince. And mocking it lovingly.
  4. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I'm a pretty amazing cook. I celebrate every major, and several minor, holidays by cooking mass amounts of food for as many people as I can get in my house. I love the ritual of the long lead time for certain things, like a Thanksgiving turkey, or a good smoked pork shoulder. 
  5. I am probably lacto-fermenting at least one thing at any given time. 

I think the most interesting people, as well as the most interesting fictional characters, are always a fun combination of Clark Kent and Superman type contradictions.  Of course, taken too far, it's just cliche. Think hot librarian or mad scientist. 

My favorite examples are from the TV series Firefly. Every character on the show was a contradiction, a cliche or stereo type turned on it's ear. Kaylee, the ships female mechanic, Inara, the highly respected and educated prostitute, Zoe, the beautiful war goddess,  Wash, the wonderfully lovable girlie man, The Preacher with a mysterious past… I could go on, but I think you get the point.

Who are your favorite contradictions? Who are your least favorite cliches? At what point does it cross the line?   As a writer, how do you walk that line?

About The Author:

Mona Darling aka Dead Cow Girl, spent close to twenty years as an A-list professional dominatrix before becoming a D-list mommy blogger. After spending many years traveling the world being told that she is fabulous, she now spends her days being told she doesn’t drive fast enough by her three-year-old son.
Dead Cow Girl was a nickname she received in grade school after a humiliating morning involving a mobile butcher and a school bus. She chose to use that name to reclaim the part of her that spent much of her childhood red-faced with shame, embarrassed for her unique childhood. She also likes it because it is readily available on nearly every social media platform.

She writes, sporadically, about food, sex and toddler-related mayhem at

Genre: Women's Studies

Publisher: Darling Propaganda LLC
Release Date: Feb 2013

Book Description:

Glitter is about the female sexual experience, which contrary to what the media would have you believe, is not all bubble baths and chick flicks.

Women are constantly judged as slutty, or uptight, but the reality is somewhere in between those two, and sometimes, nowhere near either. We have secret shames and private desires and we all feel we are the only one.

We are good church-going girls with a fondness for the paddle, PTA moms who hire escorts, feminists who like to bottom in the bedroom, slutty virgins, bi-curious married laddies and women with a past. We are gay, straight, and undecided.

We are all over the map, and we are amazing.


  1. Thank you so much for hosting & Happy 4th of July!! :)

  2. I agree I also believe that those that are interesting have a multilevel personality(I always liked Clark Kent:O) I wish you well on your tour! Pit Crew